Monday, December 28, 2009
4:08 PM
Am I being bathetic?A little I guess?Human, strange creatures. On one hand, dying to search for the Truth. Often, the desire blaze fervently in our hearts that we'll do anything to find the answer. But when the Truth is out and open, right in our faces...we crumble. We lament, we sulk, we cry, we can't handle the Truth. It hits us like a mallet, delivering a force, so strong that it breaks us into tiny pieces. The truth is...Truth is malicious,ugly, and unforgiving...so the next time you start searching high and low for it...ask yourself...are you ready for it? I did not manage to catch Sherlocks and Avatar this week :( that was actually my aim for this week..wanted to make my day before I go back to my Prison Cell. Anyways, shall catch Avatar with my Platoon mates...and leave Sherlocks for NYE?2009 is drawing to and end :( of course, its a tad too early to blog about how the year has been. But on impulse, here's a glimpse of what I wanna achieve in the coming 2010....Material goods :)
1. Polaroid Camera
2. DSLR ( Canon EOS 50D,40D or D90 or D60)
3. Oven
4. Desktop5. Queen Sized Bed6. Hard DiskNon-material/ Short,Long termed Goals:1. Learn to drive ( prolly after ATECH 2 :(
2. Learn a Sport
3. Try out Body Waxing =x
4. Lose another 4 kg ( currently 69kg due to the Festive season)5. Ensure that I'll be able to draw out 12k from my FD when i ORD ( in 13 mths time!!!)
Friday, December 25, 2009
3:34 PM
"Why bother chasing more? I have what I need..
What profits a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?"Perhaps that's what my 2010 resolution will be, to be gratified, count my blessings to make peace with what I already have.That aside, I had an indelible night yesterday, good company, good food, good music and best of all...gifts that made me feel so well loved by my lovely classmates. okay, I'm not being materialistic here but I was really ravished( they're soooo creative) and they definitely struck my heartstrings, seeing the amount of effort put into making the gifts. You know, sometimes the Past is something you cannot let go off and sometimes the past is something that you will do anything to forget. Downhearted? a little...will I brawl? and mull over it? Not likely...kinda moving on. I do not wish to open that can of worms anymore nor do I wanna exhume the Past. Some things are better left alone for some time...What is Happiness my friend? It's when you climb onto your bed,body screaming for rest, but yet, your Mind is still tingling with all the excitement and you tell yourself..How I wish everyday would be like today.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
5:36 PM
There is always a way.
When things look like there is no way, there is a way, to survive the unsure, to do the impossible. There is always a way.Be inspired. In the face of impossible, be inspired.
Reluctance to blog, perhaps it's the very thought of booking in that makes me so nua. Was packing my room and chanced upon a photograph taken in my BMT days, with Plt 4 after our gruelling BIC. Attached with the photo was a note written by my PC. Reading it, memories flooded my mind- the good and the bad. Now that I'm a 8-mth soldier, things have changed. Acclimatized perhaps.
Sometimes, I feel unreal. ( I'm sorry, but my train of thought was disrupted. guess I'll stop here)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
9:59 PM
I've been facing the computer since Derek and Tj left my house.I hate such mundane life, one that is filled with "oh i know what's gonna happen next". You know they always say that you'll never get to re-live your youth and that all of us should live life to the fullest lest one day, we look back and sulk, wishing that we had been more adventurous, more cheeky, more romantic- moments that we can relish down memory lane.Recently, I did a reality check and an astringent truth dawned upon me. It was as if i was zapped out of this mystical realm- a place where things were working my way, where simplicity ruminated in the deeds that I took on.
Initially, I wanted to be petty about it and attempted to create a big deal out of it. However, after a few sessions of self- propaganda, I let the matter off. All the joyous scenes became yet another figment of my imagination.
I think the Mind is a very powerful creation. Occasionally, it tosses crumbs of doubts at me, hoping that I'll get hooked on, lose focus on stuff that requires my attention and then it strike. It will proceed to sow unhealthy thoughts into my mind, planting catalysts, wishing that it will speed up the process of decomposition of whatever good things are there in my mind. ( wow! weird description but true!)
Aiya, enough off those nonsense.
I seriously misses my A'level days. Now, when i plug in my Ipod, I'll occasionally catch tunes that bring about waves of emotions, mostly memories that are etched with honey! I'll get flashbacks of myself mugging with the notes under my nose outside the Teachers' room...those late bus rides in 180 as it whizzed down Bukit Batok road...those late dinners that my mum specially kept for me...and then nights when i feel asleep with the lights on and the notes slightly damp because of my saliva...those mornings when I woke up and told myself that today is a brand new battle and there are also those mornings when I woke up but pretended that I was dead knowing that A's draw near...Oh yah..and those panic attacks I got when I cannot solve simple Math questions( it felt as though my pee will spurt out any min)...sigh...
On an ending note...it has been a long time since i was down..I ain't sure what's happening but...guess its just another valley of shadow that I must conquer..wish me luck then!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
9:47 PM
If you hide long enough behind a curtain of bluff and principle, people stop trying to find out who you are in the first place.You know, at some point of your life, you have to take stock of the people that are significant in your life. You then need to evaluate, and think through, if you have spent quality time with every individual in that VIP list. As always, I will drill my mind to register this basic fact of life: not all good wills/actions will be reciprocated. Hence, putting the cliche phrase, " treat others the way you want to be treated" to shame, debunking this myth that millions of people have embraced.I believe I'm going through the valley of shadows right now. Despite the fact that money is the root of all evil, i think that its sole existence solves all problems, how ironic. I'm 19 and my future is bleak because my mother cannot afford my University fee. To add on to the problem, I've a father( a white elephant) that is heavily dependant on my mother and a brother that doesn't bring home income. GREAT right. So to all the Christians out there, maybe in your Sunday service, you might wanna pray to your Abba Father to drop some cash into my bank? Tell Jesus that after all, I was once his son, his brother, wadever. okay?
Monday, August 17, 2009
10:24 AM
I make Friendship a complicated affair. A cauldron of emotions.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
12:43 AM
The only way to get rid of the Shadow is to turn off the lights. To stop running from the Darkness and face what you fear, head on.
