Saturday, December 29, 2007
feeling discouraged
12:29 AM
OBS changed my life-both good and bad, and when i say bad,it is really very bad.As some of you might have known, in Oct this year, i attended Outward Bound Singapore for 5 days- horrid. It was a school thing thus i went with both the council and some other schoolmates. Well,unfortunately, a lot of misfortunes happened during the camp. Something that almost cost my life.yes my life.
I'm totally defeated by the entire issue. Whispers under their breath, giggles,tongues wag,awkward stares-everywhere, they're talking about it,well at least when they see me in school. The Ruggers.arghs! My self-confidence tank is zero.totally chui.sigh.damn upset.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
pending doom
11:10 PM
I have not given up on blogging, it is just that I've been very busy for the past month, both with camps and Orientation and to add on to that, my emotions decided to travel around the world- well, don't take it too literal and you'll understand what i meant.
Sunburst Youth Camp was a success and definitely a memorable one. I've made many friends, be it from Singapore, Myanmar, Indonesia,The Philippines, Cambodia,Laos,India and the list goes on. I'm so glad I was given this chance to take part in this camp.It was truly an experience and a must-go.
Following closely or rather immediately after this camp was OGL camp, well, many things happen during the camp and i truly regret for choosing to be a clan master. Council rejected my proposal.My committee head kinda went back on her words. Very upset and disappointed over that matter. my council is chui.so am I.Celebrated Christmas! Received a lot of presents.I went forward again.yes again. Will history repeat itself? Does it meant anything? Does "re dedication" exist?2008. Am i ready for it? I feel like I'm facing it with trepidation and uncertainty. I doubt myself, of my own capability, am i ready for A'levels? Do i have what it takes? What will happen to my relationship with my friends? Church? Cell group? My dad? will he every recover? My mum, will her health suffer? My brother? will he get a stable job? Myself? Will i pass my NAPFA? Will i cope with council work and studies? Will my maths improve? Will i ace my Chem? Will i enter into a relationship? Will i retain or worst still ask to leave college? Can i cope? Will i crumpled under the feet of 2008?am i ready?My mum says, I'm the worst Christian she has ever seen. She said I've joined a cult. The thing is, she has not seen the rest, those world shakers and history makers. Those Samson, Gideon, Shamgar...those heroes of Faith. I'm actually the worst. I've not entered a cult. But i allow the devil to dominate my soul.It's been months,since i last spoke to my father. He's a stranger to me.The day he die,is the day I'll regret the most. I know it,even from the beginning.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Powerful sermon, yet I...
12:48 AM
Being free from GuiltMeaning of Guilt :
1. the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.
2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. Guilt= SinHow to free from Guilt
a) Repent from all your sins
b)Reset expectations of yourself
c) Release yourself from the unreasonable expectations of others
Example: DavidPs 51:10-11
Create in me a clean heart, O God
And renew a steadfast spirit within me,
Do not cast me away from Your Presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.Hui mei preached a very powerful sermon today, well at least it was powerful to me. The sermon was on Guilt- the very creature that raptures our heart, unknowingly. She quoted an example from the Bible- our dearest King David, the man who was known to be after God's own heart, yet he sinned, yes, there is no typo error, he did sinned against God, and there is only one word to describe his acts- horrible ( well, if you can think of more words, go ahead alright). Not only did he commit adultery with some sexy woman, he went on to murder her. GOSH! he was the King! he had 500 wives, 300 strong men and 3 men that are willingly to lay down their lives for him, you must be thinking, what a man that has fame,power,authority and influence yet, he still sin against God.So, you must be thinking, such a man like him, deserve to be kicked in the ass right? YET he was still known as what? say it louder? i cannot hear you?......YES! the man that is after God's own heart. How was that possible? How can that ever happen? Well, the answer can be found in Ps 51: 10-11.He ran towards God. He admitted his mistakes and ask for Forgiveness, he repented. He wanted God to cleanse his heart, give him a new heart, a clean heart. He ran back to God.At the end of the day, he knew he needed God the most.So? What say you, my friend?? Do you have guilt in your own life that you haven't confess? that you cannot let go? Maybe it's time eh? you decide.What a powerful sermon Hui Mei preached and yet I...
