It will not work when people are not willingly to make sacrifices.
Its actually pretty clear. you know. where people's priorities are. like so obvious.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
There's a little animal in all of us and maybe that is something to celebrate.
Our animal instinct is what make us seek comfort,warmth,a pack to run with.
We may feel caged,we may feel trapped but still, as humans we can find ways to feel free.
We are, each other's keepers.
We are the guardians of our own humanity
and even though there is a beast inside all of us,what's sets us apart from animals is that we can feel, think and love and against all odds, againts all instincts, we evolve.
She said" maybe they don't understand what you go through"
hell right.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I drove at 40km/h and i almost wet my pants. My instructor said I'm too tense and didn't allow me to drive the longer route. Anyway, I'm going to ask my brother to teach me or rather, let me practice.
My Taman jurong road is extremely deserted so I can practice on the road and I intend to do it like in the wee hours =x My brother is a night owl so the timing totally suit him.
And I'm seriously addicted to Grey's Anatomy. I might exhibit withdrawal symptoms soon,considering the fact that I'm completing Season 4 and Season 5 is only broadcasting in the States and the DVD is not out yet.
hmmm, next week is RESULTS DAY. woot. classmates! SEE THIS! 8 days!!
I've been pondering about ( or is it on?) my career pathway which directly affects the course I choose to read in Uni. ( erm, I'm trying to stay optimistic about my results, I mean you cannot mug your 2 years away and anticipate poor results right? )
Should I become a Teacher? with all due respect to my teachers, teaching is not glamorous, I feel. Having said that, I still can go into the leadership path right? become a principal maybe. haha
Should I become an Economist and have my name appear on Straits Times? HAHAHA I'll wanna join MAS.
Should I become a Pharmacist? design new drugs...Chemical X? and I'll breathe life to my power rangers!
Pink Ranger, or Kimberly, is missing!
Seriously?
Anyway, I kinda love Acoustic songs. and I feel kinda sucky cause I realise I do not have talents! I cannot sing, dance, play a musical instrument? urgh.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
had a crazy day in school and Sheep's house ( she's gonna kill me)
AWESOME. full of crap, violence, yay-ness, insidious moves, betrayal.
We had 3 rounds of HOMO-JAH-LAY. and that lasted like 3 hours?
the game is physically and mentally challenging. but it's super duper fun!
Tmr is my driving lesson =S and somehow, I'm not looking forward to it.
filled with trepidation.
oh yah. I cannot understand why would a 19-year-old still typed in such manner.
It's quite unbelievable! its so. 12-year-old.
and for goodness sake, I don't really know you, and don't speak to me in such condescending tone. It's inappropriate and it reflects your low EQ.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Finally went to Marina Barrage yesterday! It was supposedly a class outing but it turn what. erm. 10 students in a class. yup Anyhow, we still had fun! Minyi Yu Hui, Eugene and myself had a hard time trying to fly our kites. There was no wind. no draft. no nothing. But i got to salute gene and Yu hui for their tenacity. * LOL so exaggerating* but kudos to them lah, under the hot sun and after many attempts of throwing and running. hahaTJ taught us a game! erm. Initially it was known as HOMOLAGE. but somehow, it was the wrong name. BUT. we had soooo much fun. and the game is extremely addictive! As such, we're meeting again tmr! to play the game! heh ;)I had a terrible day at school today! My Alma Mater is in deep trouble!
My crazy classmates!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
I'm eating maggie mee at 12.25am. urgh. and I've not been running for almost a month. FAT.
anyway. I came across this notion ( someone's msn nick) and he says
Love isn't there to make us happy, but to test how much we can endure.
That's a load of bull and incredibly pathetic. Sad life isn't?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
the truth
9:52 PMAt the end of the day, when it comes down to it. all we really want is to be close to somebody.
So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend we don't care about each other, it is usually a load of bull.
So we pick and choose who we wanna remain close to and once we have chosen those people,we tend to stick close by.
No matter how much we hurt them.
The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping.
Familiarity may breed contempt, but sometimes, the invasion of that personal space is really what we need.
seriously seriously. like i don't really like Wan sheng and chin soon ( my ex classmates) and God damn it. I have to see that Chin Soon this coming Sunday. Just too bad. I don't own the Marina Barrage.
and seriously, I don't wanna help you.
and seriously, you can either be the Chicken or the Pig. The Ham or the Egg.
Maybe what they say make absolute sense. Truth hurts. and I just got to have the tenacity to see through it.
It's not like they're going to live with me right? I'm not their " the other half" *ouch*
useless.
Visited the Gym today. err didnt do much. was uncomfortable w new F's around. But it was nice to sweat a little.
the point is. I took cab home. and this fucking Comfort Taxi driver( an old man) was damn fucking. Actually, he is not very old. but he looks old. He almost killed me. and he didnt apologise. He e-brake leh! and i almost flew out and smashed into the windscreen. and for that. I will have to shoot my own Grey's Anatomy. and he didnt even apologise instead he blamed it on the traffic light.
His car plate no is SH7748M and i have lodged a complain. Hopes he loses the job. HAHAHA punishment for reckless driving asshole.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
went back to Coffee Nations again.
It was supposedly an outing of 7. but only 4 turn up. HAHA.
Anyway. so glad to see Pris and Tun Jiang. But Si en..errr. I've been seeing her. almost. like. forever.
We're going to Marina Barrage this sunday!!! yay!
I've run out of F's.
3 weeks to Army. Need to hang out more often!
Monday, February 16, 2009
seriously. I don't even wanna talk about it.
urgh.
My mum is such a loser,as if I've said. she put down other people's ideas just because she cannot get it.
seriously. she need to get a job and stop being a.... like. really.
oh yah, my mum's cousins are in town ( from M'sia) and one of them happens to be a *****.
Like totally spoil my mood. hope I wont meet them.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
a sudden realisation.
I say it's indulging in self-pity
She says its too much time
I think it's pretty clear.
awful truth.
Not really looking forward to my 1st Prac lesson. Urgh.
Grey's anatomy cast are so cool.
Do u wanna scrub in? :)
Saturday, February 14, 2009
It's like a deep well. and you're at the bottom of it.
its just another. group of people. it's a myth. superficial.
Next week is packed with S11 activities. shld spend more time with each other. 3 weeks to A's results.
you really dunno who's gonna jump off the building or slash their wrists. seriously.
4weeks to army and im waiting.
Friday, February 13, 2009
sorry, i just wanna add that my mum is so ass.
she's so evil. seriously.
My mother likes to act smart and recently found her long lost daughter by the name of Lety ( my maid)
Seriously, she's a maid. not a kin. Urgh. She's treating her as if she's blood-related. Oh cmon!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Visited the dentist just a moment ago. Ouch,to my teeth and pocket.
On my way home, overheard the conversation of two primary school girls( presumably P5).
Girl 1 : Should i fold hearts and put it on his table?
Girl 2: *obviously jealous* patronised her and said no.
Girl 1: why?
Girl 2: Maybe you should write a love letter
Girl 1: ya hor! but i scared i get caught by my brother and mother
Girl 2: aiya.
After awhile...
Girl 1: Eh he reply me already!!!
Girl 2: Looks over, oblivious to her friend's excitement or in my opinion, raging hormones.
Then Girl 1 said sth that I didn't catch.
Girl 2: But he is in 5B1 leh, EM3 leh! okay lah, i getting off liao. bye
Maybe i was deprived. When I was in Primary school, the only thing that was constantly bugging my mind were only two things- 1: how to remove my excessive leg hair. 2: how to smuggle food just before i go for my "recess run" ( we have to run 8 rounds during our recess, yea, for those in TAF club)
gosh. the kids these days, hormones kicking in so early??!! I bet many of them are making out in the stairs or computer lab during their free time.
Talking about primary school, I really miss the food. I love the steamed Hotdogs *sound so wrong* and nuggets in chilli. WOOTS. But i only have 3 recesses in a week. 2 of which i spent on the field. URGH.
Oh and i remember those TAF sessions. ewwww. See, it's a sin to be fat.
anyway, every Wednesday, we have this Teeth brushing activity. that's gross too. brushing ur teeth w/o toothpaste, u can taste all your...errr. more often that not, I'll choke and puke.
clique no more.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
There's a serious problem. Tired of trying to be significant in every else's lives and in the midst of all the effort, let the idea of "self-identity" slipped my mind.
If I'm fake, all of you are faker.
4 weeks to Army. and i'm so looking forward to it.
People come and go. and I don't really give a fucking care. really.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
my eyes are tired.
Listening to some songs,extremely nostalgic. these are the songs that I listened to during my prep for A's. Those 180 bus ride nights from school back home. murky nights. The fear, excitement. I know I've said this before, but it's more than 2 months now.
If there's no relief tomorrow, I'm going out. getting some sun. staying at home all day is unhealthy.
4 weeks to Army but thankfully( ironically) I'm enlisting with ZR and YY.
I kinda lose faith in friends that. you know. They just won't understand. Maybe it was one-sided all these while. the clique exist because of obvious reasons.
On a lighter note, I'm glad I sent that sms.
Monday, February 9, 2009
impending doom.
I don't know what course i should read.
I don't know if I can qualify
It's unfair. Poly students seem to have an easier route.
But we studied harder than them ;(
Urgh.
not contented at all.
I'm reminded of what Theodore said" What a pity it is, that not everyone values the same memories even if they were once shared" I think the notion is so apt in describing my current feelings.
Oh, a lonely Valentines. Again. :D
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Suddenly, I feel like I'm 15 yrs old again. the same kind of resentment, self-pity, disappointment,vexed. It's as if all the emotions welled up inside a balloon.
I admit to everything. no more acting.
Friday, February 6, 2009
A very Honest Post
10:37 AMI'm willful. the things that people frown upon, I like to be involved. The more they dislike the action, the more insistent I am over it.
I think it's more of a " hah, see what I'm capable of" rather than " I really want to do it"
I dislike it when people who don't really know me from inside out begin to judge me.
I once said I have a complicated life. and maybe I'm really building this brick wall. to test those who really are sincere abt being friends.
Isn't your life sad? she asked?
I thought about it. Am I? or is everything just pretence? to protect oneself?
Maybe a "strong front" is an appropriate expression.
Maybe I'm old enough. Maybe they see us as a separate family. Maybe it's our fault? Maybe I should grow up and leave, to live by myself. Maybe I don't need a family. Maybe I just need money. Maybe seeing others having a blissful family hurts. Maybe seeing others having their other halfs evoked sadness and disappointment. Maybe my life suck. Maybe I made it suck. Maybe I'm dwelling in self-pity. Maybe I really can be happy.Maybe I should stop all the acting.
Maybe I won't grow old and die just like Benjamin.
Maybe maybe.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
watched Benjamin Buttons. totally suck. It was so draggy and not enticing enough.
Dickson got his licence!
When can i get mine?
I lie to protect myself.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
So, have you finish studying?
Eh, when are you enlisting?
Oh, March 13th, currently waiting for results.
ohhh..
I think I've repeated phrase 3 like for a zillion times. every where i go, people wanna know, what I am doing, when i enlisting ( lalalala)
So i tell them.....the same old answer
5 weeks to army. fuck is the only word i can utter.
Experience is what you get when you doesn't get what you wanted.
Hardwork is like compound interest in banks, the rewards build faster.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Two equally stubborn beings who never heard of conciliation, who don't have the skills to sort things out. Once the silence starts, nobody knows how to break it and it goes on and on, building up, gaining significance in its own rights long after the original disagreement slips out of sight..
You'll fine my footprints in the sand.